Firstly, an apology. I wanted to write this post yesterday, but I slept through most of it (for those unaware, I suffer from Hypersomnia, which results in 20-30 hour sleep sessions).
Anyway – we’re at fifty days (minus one)!!! Things are getting pretty real now, so I thought I’d give you a little insight into the mind of an author with less than two months to go before her book is out…
Well, it’s pretty stressful. And what adds to this stress is that so few people understand why its stressful. “But you’ve written a book! You must be so excited!” and for a brief moment, it is exciting, because this is what I’ve always dreamed of. But then something in me plummets and twists and I just want to go away and hide forever. I get the same twist whenever I hear that someone has read the book. At first I’m like “YEY!” and then almost instantly I’m like “RUN AWAY RUN AWAY RUN AWAY DON’T LOOK ME IN THE EYEEESSS”.
I’ve been asked a lot lately about what its like to transition from an unpublished author to a published one, so here’s my advice to anyone who is going through it right now, or dreams of going through it some day: there is no transition. Anyone who thinks that getting a book deal will magically change you into someone with confidence and happiness – well I’m afraid that it doesn’t work like that. Yes, the process is validating, and its awesome to have some people tell you how talented you are etc etc. But if you’re hoping that all the mind-goblins will disappear upon signing your name on a contract, the sad news it is that they don’t. If anything, the mind goblins get greedier. You know that person you were yesterday, before the book deal? Well, you’re that same person today, and you’ll be that same person tomorrow. All your worries and insecurities will still be there, and they’ll get a whole new bunch of worries and insecurities for company. Like ‘can you meet your deadline?’ or ‘what if everybody hates it?’ Well, with fifty (minus one) days to go, I can safely say that the mind goblins are having a rollicking time right now, They keep poking me on the shoulder and then running away when I turn around, as mind goblins are prone to do.
I like using the X Factor as a metaphor for the publishing experience… so I’d say being at this stage is like singing in the live shows. I know I’m good enough to get to the live shows, and I’m pretty sure that I’m not the Wagner or Jedward joke act, but I’m still standing there, in front of an audience of millions and the judges, and it could all go wrong so very, very quickly. What if I forget my words? What if I fall down the stairs? What if I aim for the high note and I miss it???
So there we go… fifty (minus one) days until Othergirl hits the shelves, and I’m a little bit of a nervous wreck. Fortunately I have plenty of things to distract me right now, including getting a draft of my new novel ready to hand in to my publishers, because that isn’t stressful AT ALL*.
To those who have been lucky enough to get their hands on Othergirl already, I hope you enjoy, and to those yet to read, hopefully this Soon Horse will make you smile:
Hugs and high fives guys!
*It’s totes stressful. Especially as I should have all this figured out by now? Surely???